Java The Hut

Do those of you who are regular coffee drinkers ever stop to ask yourself why we drink so much of it? I am a total java fanatic, but really, aside from the mug I bring to class with me every day, how much coffee do I really need to drink? The answer of course is that I don't NEED any coffee at all, and nor do any of us. However, let's face it, we are collectively hooked on that sweet caffeinated goodness. I've got the coffee jones, and it's bad.

It's not so much the rich aroma, or the little bit of giddy-up. Nope, I drink gallons of coffee every day for the same reasons we all do. Just what are these reasons, though? A few:

1. Force of habit - I'm a total slave to routines. I like predictability, and can't cope with altering my morning routine.

2. Coffee culture - A huge culture has sprung up in North America surrounding coffee in the past 15 years or so. It essentially is based on the Eurpean coffee house model, but instead of hitting Starbucks, Haaselton's, or some other upscale coffee house that actually does have some ambiance, in our typical North American uncultured manner, we sit at the bland run-of-the-mill Tim Horton's that is identical to the other 15 of them in our city.

3. It's a beer substitute - Okay, look, I love beer. Beer is good. The problem is that beer is TOO good. Apparently, drinking a couple of beers every morning isn't socially acceptable (damn conformist moral majority) ;) , so coffee it is... (For any of you getting your shorts in a knot and thinking "Oh my goodness, would he actually drink a couple beers every morning?", relax. I'm not nearly as think as you drunk I am) (The preceding message was brought to you by The Foundation for Knowing How to Recognize a Joke)

4. Cuz evvvverybody's doin' it - Yep, even as adults we are prone to falling into the herd without even realizing it. Put any coffee drinker in a room with a few other people who are swilling a cup of joe, and you can bet that person (ie: moi) will be fumbling for change to fetch a double-double, or waving their arms wildly to get the server over with a cup o' the good stuff within about 15 seconds. Nobody wants to feel unhip (I know. It's dumb as all heck, but for whatever reason we feel somehow hip or socially sophisticated just because we are drinking a cup of crushed beans and hot water).

5. Nobody likes a quitter! - I was raised to work hard, see plans through, put future goals ahead of short-term ones, and all that other great stuff that fathers of the Boomer generation passed on to their sons in a not-so-subtle manner (ie: Boomer father tells slacker son to get his head out of the sand, use his head for more than a hat holder, etc.). Now, how would my father feel knowing his years spent berating me went to waste and he raised a quitter? No, worries, Dad. Your son doesn't give up! Nope, I am taking a stance against all the underachievers out there that would toss their Thermos in the blue box for the "betterment of (their) health". I intend to stand tall, wave my mug of java in the air, and pat myself on the back for sticking to my principles. ;)


So, upon reflection, it isn't so much that I think I should abruptly dump coffee. Nope, coffee and I have a pretty good partnership. We just need to see a little less of each other.